Hoarder's Fecal Matter Whiz Queen

Think your house gets dirty sometimes? Well meet Shanna, of Bothell, Washington who set a record on the TV show Hoarders for having a house that was the biggest biological hazard anyone on the crew had ever seen. 

I've watched hoarders and laughed at the screen for a few years now, but this is the first time I have ever seen a crew member try to house break someone. Max Paxton, the host and clean up specialist of the television series, tried to explain to her that having poo around your house in buckets and bottles is bad, but Shanna seemed extremely confused by this. Some friendly advice Max, just skip the lecture, wait for her to head for the bucket, rub her nose in it, yell “bad” a few times, and toss her out the door.  

Shanna keeps bottles full of crap around her house that she affectionately refers to as dirty water jugs, and has saved them for years. This was apparently a trend her mom started before passing away in the biological waste museum. Shanna goes to the bathroom in buckets because she says the house has a septic problem. Yeah, the problem is that the septic is in the house. When the buckets get full she empties them into smaller, easier to carry buckets, and dumps them in the front yard. 

She acknowledges that her neighbors could view her dumping poo buckets in the front yard as odd, but they haven’t said anything to her. Could this possibly be due to the fact that even fractionally normal people teach their children to steer clear of people dumping buckets of poop out in the front yard and it stuck with them into adulthood? 

According to her, the septic tank should be cleaned every four years but didn’t elaborate on how long it had been since the last time it was cleaned. “There’s room left in the toilet but I don’t use it because I don’t want it to over flow.” Oh, well hell, that makes sense, we wouldn’t want crap on the floor, you keep that stuff in bottles where it belongs Shanna. 

When the cleanup crew suited up in their hazmat suits and came in, they met some opposition while trying to throw food away. She became confrontational about a salad that she was adamant about eating. When max told her, “I wouldn’t eat a salad that had poo on it.” Her response was, “Well, I’m hell bent.” I personally would’ve chosen a more suitable word to describe Shanna, but so many things come to mind it’s hard to narrow it down to just one, and I’m not sure if there’s a word in psychology for people who eat poo salad. 

She told the camera crew she has eaten poo for 12 years and she guessed that now the party was over. Sorry Shanna, maybe you’ll get lucky and find some other like-minded people to have a poo salad eating party with. I wish the fecal matter, whiz queen of Bothell, Washington all the luck in the world.